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Encountering “the Other”
Jean Vanier
On control, vulnerability and
communion.
Sometimes those of us who have more
power, more money, more time or more knowledge bend down to those who
have less power, less knowledge or less wealth; there is a movement from the
“superior” to the “inferior”. When
people are generous they are in control.
You can imagine someone in the street falling down and you going to help
that person to get up. Then something
happens. As you listen to that person
you become friends. Perhaps you discover
that that person is living in squalor and has little money. You are not just being generous; you are
entering into a relationship which will change your life. You are no longer in control. You have become vulnerable; you have come to
love that person. You have listened to
her story. You have been touched by that
incredible, beautiful person who has lived something incredibly difficult. You are no longer in control, you are no
longer just the generous one, you have become vulnerable. You have become a friend… Jesus is asking us
to come up from behind the walls of our group and open our hearts to those who
have been marginalised because of their poverty, because of their handicaps,
and become their friend. In the heart of
Christ there is a yearning to bring people together to meet as friends. To make that move from generosity to
communion of hearts will imply a new way of living. It will imply a
transformation, because we will have lost power.
On seeing as God sees, seeing
people as they are.
Living with the poorest and the weakest – different, fragile,
vulnerable, anguished people – has revealed what is the most beautiful in me,
but also what is the most terrible. I
have discovered that the anguish of some people with disabilities has awoken my
anguish. We need transformation… we see
the world only through our own eyes; we are not liberated enough to see people
as God sees them. We see people through
our wounds, through our difficulties, through our prejudices. We need to see people as God sees them. The whole vision of Jesus, which is the
vision of peace, is about coming out from behind barriers and discovering people
as they are.
Overcoming our fears
What are you frightened of? Is it
fear of not being respected? Is it fear
of being put aside? Is it fear of not
being loved? Is it fear of death? What is it that we’re frightened of?
We must learn how to look into our fears because we cannot let ourselves
be controlled by fear. If we can’t look
death and failure in the face, well, then we can never live because to live
means to risk, to do things, to have projects which might fail, which may go
wrong. we cannot be totally secure for
everything; we must discover inside ourselves this power that we have been
given to receive the Holy Spirit, not alone, but with others in community, to
decide to go forward and to risk things.
God started calling Adam, “Where are you?” Adam replied. “I was frightened because I was
naked and I hid” (Gen 3:9-10). What true
words: “I was frightened.” All of us
know the place of fear that is within us.
We are frightened. We are
frightened of the other, of the one who is different. And why?
Because we are so vulnerable.
Vulnerable to pain, to failure, to rejection and to death. “I was naked”, Adam was saying, “I was vulnerable. I was in anguish. I didn’t know what to do,
so I hid.” This is the story of
humanity. We hide behind walls, behind
groups, behind culture. We can even hide
behind religion. But the “enemy” can
become a friend
Overcoming barriers by
listening and communicating
I want to talk about a passage in the Gospel of Saint John that always
moves me. John the Baptist sees Jesus and, looking at Jesus, says, ‘Here is the
Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.”
Do you know what sin is? It’s when there is a barrier between you and
me. Between me and God, between me and myself. It is a wall, a wall so that we
cannot speak to each other. We don’t encounter others, because we are so
certain that we are right; ‘You have nothing to bring me. I don’t need you.”
Then the next day John the Baptist sees Jesus again and says here is the
Lamb of God who takes away this terrible barrier, which prevents us meeting
ourselves, meeting the other, meeting truth and meeting God. At that moment two
of the disciples break off from their master and teacher, John the Baptist.
They start following Jesus. And the first words of Jesus in this Gospel, as he
turns around are, ‘What are you looking for? What do you want?’ (John 1:38)
These are the first words of Jesus to each of us. ‘What do you want? What is it
you want really? What is deepest within you? Where is your desire, your thirst,
your hope?’ Jesus doesn’t tell people what to do. He asks them a question.
‘What are you seeking as you begin to follow me?’
Let’s try to understand each other.
Tell me your story, the story of your pain, the story of your failures
and I can tell you my story and somewhere we will be coming together. If you discover that somebody really loves
you, really appreciates you, understands you, listens to you, then you begin to
change. You come out from behind the
barriers of fear that you have constricted around your heart.
The incarnation – bridging
barriers
The Word became flesh. The Word became a tiny child to break down those
barriers, the dividing wall that prevents us shaking hands with those who are
different. Behind those walls each group considers itself the best, the most
important and the most loved by God. The Word became flesh to bring these
barriers down so that all of us can discover that we are all precious to God
and made for love.
Being sent into the world to
be present
Meeting the stranger does not mean just saying ‘hello’; it isn’t just
listening to his or her story. It is understanding them and to go even further:
to appreciate the difference. Then we can enter into communion together. But there again, it is a long road, So as the
Father sent Jesus, Jesus sends us into a world where there is a lot of pain…
Holiness is not hiding ourself and saying prayers. Holiness is becoming
like Jesus and taking our place in the world to reveal that God is mercy; God
is love, God has come to bring us together and wants us to be a people filled
with hope, and also with joy. ‘I say these things to you’, says Jesus, ‘so that
your joy might be full and my joy might be within you.’ (John 15)
Being present and serving just
where we are
The danger for all of us is that we are living in a culture of
competition and rivalry, so we are often on the defensive and trying to prove
that we are better than others are. Have we forgotten that Jesus is at our feet
asking us to serve just where we are?
I think I can understand Peter who looked at Jesus and said, ‘You wash
my feet?’ Jesus replied, ‘you cannot understand now, but you’ll know later:
Then Peter said, ‘No. You shall never wash my feet.’ It’s because he can’t
really understand Jesus. He can’t understand that Jesus came to bring a totally
new order where the walls would fall down and we would come together as
brothers and sisters. Do we understand this new order? Do we understand God’s
vision for humanity or are we just closed up in our own little worlds?
All of us can understand the reaction of Peter. Maybe if we found Jesus
kneeling at our feet we would react in the same way. We want a big God who
fixes our problems. We don’t want a little God saying, “I need you and I’ll
come and live in you. I’ll give you a
new strength, a new spirit and you shall work so people become free and loving
and peacemaking.” We always want a God who is going to fix our problems, but
God is saying, “I’ll give you the strength so you become one of those who work
with others to bring peace to our world.”