Summary of the contribution of Mieke Vrints

Introduction

Mieke began her sharing by introducing herself. She has no less than three part-time jobs: religious teacher at the European school for the children of diplomats and civil servants in Brussels, university chaplain and co-worker at the inter-diocesan pastoral service for youth. In addition, she is a volunteer in some other programmes.

Mieke got to know the MSC from childhood. The whole family attended what were called “family weeks” (a kind of family retreat) organised by the MSC, for adults and children. Later on she took part also in the MSC-youth weekends which were organised by the younger MSCs in collaboration with young lay people. She was struck by the open welcoming atmosphere and the creativity and variety of activities, which always made the link between faith and social activity. They were true opportunities for personal and spiritual growth.

Later on she was asked to help in the organisation of weekends as part of a team. She learned that good preparation is important, so that during the weekends themselves “your heart could be with the young people” and not still finalising arrangements. Since that time she is part of what she calls the “MSC network”: “Wherever you go, you meet people who know the MSC or took part in their activities”.

Neighbourhood

At present Mieke lives in a disadvantaged neighbourhood of Brussels. It was her choice to live there, which was unusual. Most people want to move out of that area as soon as they can. Living in the neighbourhood means sharing in the life of the people. They have need of work, so has she. She does not live in a religious community funded by a congregation but has to work for her living. It also means renting a house and experiencing the same kind of problems with landlords which the people experience.

She has found it important not to have a number of items, those things that could keep you away from the people in the neighbourhood. A bicycle is better than a car. Mieke has no internet connection in her apartment and no washing machine. It means she has to go to an internet café for her e-mails and to a public laundrette to do her laundry. “That is where you meet people and get to talk with them.” Mieke wants to spend her spare time with the people in the area. For this reason she does not have hobbies that take her out of the neighbourhood.

In this way your learn things you would not get to know in another way. Mieke told the story of an old woman, the owner of three dogs. She always walked the streets with her dogs and the people, the Muslims included, loved her even though they are not fond of dogs. The old woman said this herself. It proved to be true, because when the old woman died, the Muslims showed great concern even for what would happen to her dogs.

No judgement, no inactivity either

Mieke was once invited to a birthday party. She wasn’t particularly keen on going, knowing that the television in that house is always on. However, she decided to go and brought with her a birthday cake with candles. She suggested that they turn off the television so that they could light the candles and blow them out in darkness and then turn on the lights. Now it became clear why the television was always on in the house. All the bulbs in the room were blown and the only light source was from the television set. Wrong presumption, wrong judgement.

She also told the story of a Moroccan boy steeling a waffle and some chocolate in a Turkish shop. She blocked the boy on his way out and argued with him that he should pay for the waffle. “If small shops in our neighbourhood are cheated, they can’t survive and we won’t have shops here any more – we won’t have a common future in this place.” She did not reproach the boy for being a thief but reminded him of the consequence of his action affecting him and his family too. By suggesting to him the idea of “a common future” she related herself to him and a certain sense of community grew between them.

Results?

Living in a neighbourhood means being prepared to “waste” time with the people. You cannot predict what the fruits of this relationship will be, what is going to come out of friendship. Fecundity is a gift, it is not the same as productivity, as Jean Vanier points out. Brother Roger Schultz, the founder of Taizé, never thought that young people would flock to Taizé. He, however, accomplished his primary intuition and unforeseen fruits resulted. Charles de Foucauld only became known after he was murdered. You can compare this living among the people with the hidden life of Christ and just pray that it will bear fruit in God’s design.

Fecundity, however, does not exclude “organising”. The sharing of the bread to feed the multitude in Mk 6:30-44 is an example of that. Jesus tells the apostles to make the people sit down in small groups. It is an organisational dimension: small groups promote trust and sharing.

“The people in the neighbourhood feel responsible for me. I do not fit into their expectations: a woman, living on her own, not married, without children. It is not how it should be. So they are concerned about me. For example, when I had a fire in my apartment they invited me to stay with them until everything was sorted out. They have grown to accept me.”

Feelings and sentiments of the heart

Vulnerability, showing weakness, not being on top of things, brings people together. Jesus was such a person, in particular in the Gospel of St. Mark and St. John. He showed his feelings. He did not hide behind walls of protection. He could be hurt and wounded. “That’s why his Heart is Sacred.” He stood for true brother- and sisterhood. The dynamics of exclusion that take place in our society hurt him very much.

Jesus’ view of God is behind this. God doesn’t choose sides, but mourns both the victim and the abuser, the innocent and the perpetrator of evil. All are his children and it pains God to see harm happen to any of them. So we should not be too quick to choose sides either. It is important to hold the bigger picture in front of us. In a Muslim environment, for example, it is good to emphasise that Jews, Christians and Muslims are all descendants of Abraham. It is important to look for and find common ground.

Anxiety, if acknowledged and shown, can lead to solidarity. Unfortunately, it is a cultural trait of our society to manipulate and to seek control. But once you show your anxiety a community of anxious people can be created. Anxiety may be more powerful even than Freudian sexual desire.

Anger, sadness, joy and fear are the basic feelings. We are mostly head-people, full of ideas, who think we know better and are often impatient with people. We don’t easily admit our feelings to ourselves and to others. “If I am angry, I cannot be as close to you as I want to be, even if you are not the reason for my anger.” The same applies to sadness. If you talk about your feelings, you clear the way for yourself and for the others as well. It’s harder for head-people to communicate like this.

In the Gospels it is striking that Jesus talks with a lot of feeling. If you read the Gospel in a literate translation it becomes even clearer. We should ask less what Jesus would do in this or that circumstance, and more how he would feel. Likewise, we have to go back to our own feelings, but in the context of the Kingdom of God.

Middle-class exposure

Life in a disadvantaged neighbourhood is not just with the poor. You have to find a way to involve the middle class. Jesus called the fishermen of Galilee. They were not at the bottom of society. He called them to follow him. He himself might have had a good education because of his links with the priestly class in his family. Anyway, it is important that middle-class people get a chance to meet people from the neighbourhood and get to know about their lives.

Spirituality of the heart

Young Muslims find it difficult to connect the prescriptions of the Koran with the feelings of their own heart, where God is present. The commandments with their rewards and punishments get in the way. They are interested though.

In general young people today are suffering from a lot of noise in their heads. They hear many different messages. It is better to do things with them, such as cooking, or other odd jobs than to try and add yet another message. Give them responsibility and trust them. If they like the things they do they will come back. Listen to what they have to say. Don’t talk too much about God, but wait for questions. They question the unusual way we live. They like to know whether we are happy, whether we believe in what we are doing.

If you tell stories from the bible, tell them in a way they can connect to them. Tell daily-life stories. Tell about battles in the Old Testament. Boys love these stories. Use images and art. “I’m sure that the Gospels only present a summary of what was going on between Jesus and the people he met. The Gospel is like a theatre play, condensed, leaving out much of the process that went ahead of the actual conversations.”

Boundaries

We all have our limits and should be clear about them, personally and as a community. Express what you like and do not like, and don’t try to be someone else.

“If you bring someone in the house, you need a certain ritual. The visitor enters sacred ground.” You need private places in the house that are off limits to guests and that should be clear to them. You may also want to reserve certain hours for yourself when you do not want to be disturbed. It may be even practical to put a note on the door informing the would-be visitors that they are welcome at another time.

Finally, if you receive many visitors a day, do not forget to involve the neighbours. They may be disturbed by the coming and going. If they understand what you are doing, they become much more amenable and even involved in the project.