Psychological aspects of a Spirituality of the Heart and a feminine approach towards a Spirituality of the Heart

Sr. Gerardine Doherty FDNSC

1. Basic theological foundation

Central for us in this theological reflection is the ‘incarnation’: Jesus gives meaning to the whole of humanity. In Constitution 10 we read:

“We want to be like Jesus, who loved with a human Heart”

This is the foundation on which we stand. We want to love with a human heart. Therefore we have to grow in order to become 100% human. Jesus was convinced of the flourishing of being human. So, we also have to love with a human heart. I have to love myself, others and the world. The glory of God is humanity fully alive. Therefore, our approach has to be holistic.

Often Jesus is spiritualised and theologised rather than humanised. This has been done partly by the angelic and too spiritualised way we lived as religious. It is important that we find images and ways to bring Jesus back to earth.

2. Psychological foundation

Although psychology is quite a recent science it is a great gift. It helps in understanding the human person better, and so helps us to see who we are. It promotes human dignity, human knowledge and human development. Therefore, spiritual development is also human development. If we don’t grow spiritually we don’t grow humanly and vice versa. They have both the same source: God. As Thomas Aquinas said: “Grace works through nature”. But grace can also be stopped if it isn’t worked on. If people don’t work on their human development as well as on their spiritual development, inner division will be the outcome. Therefore, harmony is the key-word. At the other hand, if we open up ourselves for the inner hindrances, God can work through them and we see small miracles happen.

We can relate this to the Spirituality of the Heart. The “Heart” can have many dimensions: there is our own heart, there is the heart of God, and there is the heart of the world (humanity). If there is an emphasis on only one or two of these dimensions the harmony splits. E.g.: Some people think only about the world, but not about themselves. Others might only be dealing with God, but not with relationships in the world.

Bishop Cuskelly msc wrote: If you want to understand God, you have to go to the deeper self in you. There you will find your needs, what you lack, your hopes, fears, emptiness. These in turn lead us to Jesus who is the answer to our emptiness. He, in his turn, leads us out of ourselves to others. In the encounter with the other we come to see ourselves afresh, to understand how we are being challenged or changed. And so the cycle is repeated.

In all this we can find hope. Spirituality of the Heart, therefore, is a spirituality of Hope.

Wanting “to live like Jesus” is a choice. It is choosing how we want to live our life. For this we need to make the movement of “becoming one”, of harmony. Sometimes psychology and spirituality can lead us in the opposite direction, to a lack of integration and harmony. Nevertheless, while having its limitations, used in a proper way it can be helpful. Life itself, of course, is too rich to be fully explained, and the ultimate foundation of life, we believe, is God.

Often there is a big gap between spirituality and the life of the people. It is often so high in the sky that people can’t connect to it. Generally spirituality is for the rich, not the poor, for the “haves” and not for the “have-nots”. This is the same for philosophy and theology. When we are in an inner-city, living in a poorer neighbourhood, the people we will deal with may mainly be “the have-nots”. If we can simply “be” with them and give some hope in life, it is already a lot.

In most of our lives the flow of grace isn’t always smooth. There can be many blocks caused by unattended hurt and sin. If we don’t look at them we can become dysfunctional and cause ourselves and others many problems. We also can be blind to our weaknesses and the blocks within ourselves. The challenge is to harmonise or integrate them within ourselves. Denying my own truth can be a block in the flowing of grace in me and so in the union with Jesus.

· We have to be aware that addiction and oppressions can be handed down from one generation to another.

· There is much denied anger in many people’s lives.

· Many suffer from grief which not been dealt with.

· There is also a lot of denial in the area of sexuality.

· Another block can be our rationality, our intellect, our ego. Especially men tend to try and rationalise everything away. This can be dangerous.

All these blocks close our heart to some extent. From the perspective of our Spirituality of the Heart, what is important is to make an effort to go to the heart of the matter.

The prospect of entering our inner world can generate considerable fear and anxiety. What has been stored deep within has come from the daily experiences of our life. Some experiences go deeper than other. We are also very much influenced by our own background: our families, education, expectations of society, homilies we heard, etc. They all form us, for the good or the bad. So too with less obvious influences – for example the place of birth on our family (1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, etc.) is very formative.

Drawing of Gerardine with the heart, the Public Self and the Whole Self.

There needs to be a continually interaction between my “heart” and my “public self”. There is a danger if the public self takes over, my heart will close, I will be left with my public self, my persona, and nothing else. It will give me a feeling of emptiness after a while and I become divided within myself. The heart can become so self-centred that it cannot love or bring compassion to others. My whole self is my potential self. It is what God dreams for me, what I am called to become.

Sometimes people see their blocks and fears, but cannot see a way of opening them up. Sometimes people don’t want to open them up for then they have to change. This can seem too dangerous, too scary. Therefore they remain in their role, in their public self, and this becomes their identity, e.g.: people who feel victimised. Often people take on this identity. To break away from this identity they need support. But to accept help one needs to be able to trust another. Often people are so hurt in life they can’t trust anyone else.

A very helping book in this regard is “Hidden wholeness” by Parker Palmer. He talks about “presence”. How are we going to be present? Palmer talks about “circles of trust”. Is our role to build circles of trust? How do we refine presence? How do we undo mistakes?

Another important issue is that of boundaries. People need boundaries. Some people’s boundaries are very loose; other’s are very much closed. Also we, as Missionaries of the Sacred Heart need to set boundaries. This we have to discuss for our project: Which are the boundaries we need to set. They can be adapted along the way.